I have a friend we’ll call Sandpaper for the purposes of this story. Not because he’s rough around the edges, but because naming names is how you lose friends.
Sandpaper is a great guy. He’s also convinced that he is biologically incapable of getting high and has somehow never experienced a hangover. He’s in his mid-40s and looks like he should be featured on a bag of Scotts Turf Builder. If South Dakota ever needed a mascot for grilling meat in cargo shorts, they’d put Sandpaper on the payroll immediately.
The morning after a night of drinking, Sandpaper’s stomach hurts. His head hurts. He feels like he’s coming down with a cold. He moves around like an arthritic buffalo. But according to him, it’s definitely not a hangover.
The first time he tried a THC drink, he spent the entire evening announcing, “I don’t feel anything.”
Five minutes later he’d repeat it.
Then again.
And again.
Usually while staring into the distance like a philosopher trying to solve the mysteries of the universe.
Now, I’m not making fun of Sandpaper. Well, maybe a little. But I think he represents a bigger debate happening all over the country: alcohol versus THC.
Many bars in Sioux Falls have started offering THC beverages, while others act like someone suggested serving antifreeze. Across America, the alcohol industry has worked hard to convince people that THC drinks are some sort of societal threat while alcohol remains the gold standard for having a good time.
Which is funny, because alcohol has convinced millions of people to text their exes, buy things they can’t afford, and sing karaoke when they absolutely shouldn’t.
Let’s not pretend alcohol’s report card is spotless.
The reality is simple: bars make money on volume. Selling someone six beers is generally better for business than selling one THC drink that keeps them happy for two hours.I understand the math.But as a customer, I’d rather spend $15 on one drink and enjoy my evening than spend $25–30 on a parade of vodka diets and wake up the next morning feeling like I lost a cage match against a stomach virus.
Unlike Sandpaper, I am not immune to hangovers. My hangovers don’t come with exciting stories. They come with stomach aches, regret, and a deep commitment to spending the next day horizontal.
That’s why I think local bars should embrace THC drinks.
Not because everyone should stop drinking alcohol.
Not because THC is some miracle product.
But because adults like options, and having more choices is usually better than having fewer.
Even if Sandpaper insists he can’t feel any of them.
